Drink, drank, drunk, gone.
You are the absolute one.
My go to, my flaw, my need, my want…
“If it stays with me, please don’t taunt.”
Last night was different. I texted my mom after having had probably 6 shots of tequila. Not a big deal, I’m used to it, but you can tell how early in the night it was–mom always goes to bed early.
I’m with my bestie. Her place. We planned for something different, but we always stray from the original plan if it means MORE fun.
I start the conversation with Mom. “I love you mommy!”
She replies, “I love you, too.”
“Just thinking about you. Night, night.” My text-accuracy is good considering Jose.
“You know me well. I’m pooped.”
“Jose Cuervo is mean to me.”
“Me too.” She agreed with me.
I suppose I’ve reached that point in my life: Where drinking isn’t a big deal and that my mom somewhat agrees with it and it’s totally ok that I text her.
I miss her; it wasn’t a lie, I just hate that I hate her sometimes. She makes me irritated. It’s like she stays mad at the world and blames other for her problems and somehow it get twisted back at me and my family. Maybe it’s like that??
The last I heard, she’s not talking to my aunt–her own damn sister.
Here’s the petty part though: my aunt invited their parents to HER anniversary dinner. Not a big deal, right? Well mom hasn’t talked to my grandparents, like REALLY talked to them since I was 13, when I moved out of her place and into theirs.
So, there’s al this issue of just them not speaking and just things being awkward especially when it’s a certain season when families are expected to be with each other.
Christmas hasn’t been the same in years. Easter, thanksgiving, Birthday parties…
All that said, there was this really awkward time when I turned 18 and we had a big blow out. My mom was there. My siblings. My bio-dad and his new wife. Grandparents–from both sides. Many friends from school–which is unheard of because I’m fucking anti-social with friends around family.
And my grandmother spend extra money on 2 cakes. I liked other designs and couldn’t pick, so we got both. I’m a spoiled brat…
But yeah! Thinking about mom sucks because I’m constantly reminded of how alike we are and reminded of the awkward life I’ve lived in her shadow and the shit she causes towards the family. (Don’t even get me started on my step dad.)
So, Jose Cuervo guides me away from those memories and relaxes me from the hard weeks I have at school.